Death of a Unicorn
Always check for unicorn crossing signs
It's hard to eat the rich when they're the best part of the movie
Elliot Kintner (Paul Rudd) is under a lot of pressure. He’s spending the weekend at his incredibly wealthy boss’ estate. His pouty teenager, Ridley (Jenna Ortega), is accompanying him. And oh yeah, he just ran over a unicorn.
Flustered and unsure what to do with a dying mythological beast, Elliot beats it with a tire iron and chucks it in the trunk, much to Ridley’s horror. When they arrive at the estate, it doesn’t take long for the unicorn to be discovered. It turns out the animal’s horn has healing properties.
Elliot’s boss sees dollar signs, Ridley sees a horrible tragedy, and Elliot is still hoping to get ahead at work. But what happens when other unicorns show up looking for their cohort?
Typically, when something is overly obvious, we call it “on the nose”. With Death of a Unicorn, I suppose we’ll be using “on the horn”. Either way, director/writer Alex Scharfman isn’t breaking new ground with this movie. He’d like you to know the rich are selfish and cruel. Most of us have been living in that reality for quite some time, so it’s up to Scharfman to make his narrative fresh. What we get, instead, is a unicorn yarn that’s vaguely entertaining for about 20 minutes.
The unicorn mythos, which is largely just a retelling of the lore in the famous tapestries, feels like it could have been developed more, too. Everything about the movie feels like random occurrences that happen so Scharfman can come in at the end and shout, “See? That rich guy sucks!” It’s hollow and not that entertaining.
It doesn’t help that the only entertaining part of the film is the evil rich family. Richard E. Grant vamps it up as Elliot’s evil boss Odell. He’s just delightfully awful in this turn as the world’s worst boss. As his wife, Belinda, Téa Leoni is the perfect counterpart to Odell’s awfulness. It’s easy to see how they’re the worst people in any room, but gosh it’s fun to watch.
Rudd and Ortega, however, seem lost. Rudd does the same thing he always does. If you find that charming, it’s fine. If you’re hoping for any performance variation, well, you’re clearly not familiar with Rudd’s acting abilities. Ortega is supposed to be the pure-hearted teen girl who saves the day, but her flat affectation somewhat spoils the idea. She doesn’t seem impressed, even when she’s supposed to be. It’s a weird casting choice, but it hardly matters with a script this thin.
If you’re in the market for a cutting satire about the mores of the wealthy, may I recommend The Rules of the Game from Jean Renoir, or basically anything directed by Bong Joon Ho.
Verdict: It may be magical, but there’s little realism here.
Death of a Unicorn is rated R and available in theaters March 28
