Fear Street: Prom Queen
I wish Carrie had visited this prom
Someone should have taken an ax to that script.
Lori Granger (India Fowler) is a social pariah. Her mother allegedly killed her father while pregnant with Lori in high school. Though nothing was ever proven, Lori is known as a “killer’s kid” and mocked by the popular girls.
Despite her social status, Lori has decided she’s running for prom queen.
Why? Because.
It’s not like she’s a favorite to win, but even being in contention is looking like a bad idea. It seems that someone has very distinct ideas on who should be prom queen and is killing off the competition. Can Lori stay alive? And can she keep the gossipy town from falsely accusing her.
Sometimes, movies aren’t for you. Children’s movies and cartoons are often a bit saccharine or boring for adults. Asking a six-year-old to sit through a Merchant Ivory parlor drama is probably going to end in disaster. But rarely, there are movies that don’t seem to be for anyone. Fear Street: Prom Queen is such an entity. Neither scary nor funny, it defies all audiences. Most of the writing seems geared toward the obvious and shallow, which hints it might be for younger crowds. But the kills are bloody and graphic, which most probably wouldn’t want a kid to see.
So it’s not “baby’s first horror movie”, what IS it? Horror fanatics and gore hounds won’t be impressed by the kills (which are tame and unimaginative by today’s standards). They’ll guess the twists immediately, because they’re all telegraphed from the beginning. And worst, they’ll be annoyed that all of the female characters seemed to be named after scream queens or their characters; it feels disrespectful to drag their names into such uninspired dreck.
With no tension, poor writing, and only the most perfunctory acting to work with, director/co-writer Matt Palmer is rather stuck. Unfortunately for himself and the viewer, he can’t even rely on style. The set-piece kills are all things we’ve seen before. The 80s setting feels like it was designed by someone who’s never seen a photo from that time period. The dresses are all wrong, Lori’s flat hair is odd considering the era, the makeup is wrong, and the slang/dialogue is way off.
Still, the cardinal sin of Fear Street: Prom Queen is that it contains one of the most unlikeable final girls in cinema. Let me be clear: Lori isn’t unlikeable in a fun way, like Tree from Happy Death Day. Lori is just a sulky drip who doesn’t like that she isn’t popular. The second she gains an ounce of popularity, she dumps her best friend, steals a boyfriend, and happily pictures her new life. Then, when the killer appears and starts stabbing people, Lori just…moves on back to her old life. It’s a weird characterization. She doesn’t feel like a person, more like a marionette being forced through a condensed play.
It’s hard to root for a final girl that’s this much of a self-centered drip. The real victim of the slasher in this film is the audience, who had to sit through the whole thing.
Verdict: Neither scary nor entertaining, the only thing to fear is another sequel.
Fear Street: Prom Queen is rated R and is available on Netflix
